“Never goes Away”

It still feels the same, this pain never goes away, my heart doesn't fully recover.

 I never stop blaming myself and think everything happened because of me, because of my mistakes in the past.

 Many years have passed 

and right in the 2nd year I was able to make peace with myself

 After I betrayed him and he betrayed me back

With finally he chose to live with her.

 Even though I've forgotten it, But still my heart still tightly closed, it's not that I refuse due to trauma, it's just that I can't, I don't know why.

 Even though in my deep heart there is absolutely nothing that is blocking it, or let alone feelings left behind.

 I don't know how badly that human hurt me to the point where I lost interest in feeling.