Lately I've always dreamed about him up to 3 times, is this a sign or is it just a flower in my sleep? now my hands can't wait to send him a message, there's so much I want to talk to him about, but my pride holds me back. I was afraid and hesitant to contact him, but this time I dared to ask how he was, actually I missed him, there were also some plans that we hadn't made yet. and we will do it someday. I feel surprised and always think why in the end every time we communicate we always get cut off in the middle of conversations, is there something wrong with the way we communicate? Or is it because we are both ignorant people? Why does it always fail when we rebuild the foundation of our relationship? But, isn't the universe supporting our relationship? but why doesn't it work well? even though we always have the energy to connect but I don't know what makes us unable to be together. I often think about him from time to time, he feels the same way. but I don't know what makes us both doubtful. what makes us afraid and unwilling to start a commitment. I don't know, I still need the blessing of the universe and God so that everything can go well.
These few days I don't cry much, we don't even cryyyyyyyy, finally! :’ (mean me and mom) Because I have the antidote, I have the medicine for all mypain, he changes my day he turns my cold heart into a little warmer. I don't know how he came into my life? I certainly thank to God, for providing the antidote Soooo on time! ;) Even though I was tough at first and didn't want to recognize him but who would have thought that now he has become a part of my day I'm so grateful to have someone who keeps me safe and can heal my wound even just a little... But, I wouldn't expect more from him, because I already know how it feels when having hope on someone and it will hurt's ... I'll let it flow as it is and I am very happy & bliss when he accepting me for who I am The only thing I'm grateful for now is having him by my side I hope I'm not depedent to having him around me Bcsa, I'm so afraid of being addicted to him ( around me ).
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