3am’

 

 And what makes me even crazier is when I check on you and look you are still active on your social media even until 3 am, I feel like wanna screaming, I feel like getting angry and want to cursing you, but you know I'm not that kind of person and can't even do that to you. I’m just can't still believe you can make my heart broken like this, but I don't feel strange that even a softest man like you is able to do something like that to save your big fear, you’ve made me even more devastated bcs I can't make you come back and fix everything, I hate everything that happened, I still think about what are you doing and with who, you are talking to? I am jealous of the blurry things in front of me that don't even necessarily happen, I hate guessing this all, I hate missing you, I also hate that the reality is clearly not me the girl who is your goal. It really makes me feel worthless but after this I will fight tooth and nail to recover my wound, Even though I have lost you now, my goal now is no longer about LOVE, but I will focus on myself, fix what's wrong, make myself better, make myself more meaningful and worthy of the love I want, I will focus on working hard and achieving my DREAMS, I will show you that I can always do it even without you by my side. I will make you regret not choosing me as the person who loves you so much.