I'm really the girl who will and ready to join the war with him in his life later.

 God, if it is indeed destined for me, then bring him closer, remove his fear, remove his doubts about me, remove his restlessness that he has felt all this time, calm his heart, make his body healthy, give him the happiness that he deserves, because he deserves to be happy. And after that, after he is done with himself, please bring us back together in good condition, in a condition where he is no longer afraid and has no doubts about things that have not happened in the future. 

Give us the opportunity to go through it together, go through all the joys and sorrows together, I am always ready if I am with him, if he is the one. 

Losing him made me realize how much I love him, but I don't want to force my will in loving him anymore, I will wait for him even until he is ready to love me again, I will wait for him in my prayers. But God, if he is indeed not destined for me, let go of the pain that I am experiencing now, losing makes me destroy all the plans that I have built well, I have just recovered from old wounds, I don't want to feel it again. Help me let go of him sincerely with a smile and with kindness this time, don't make me return to this shackle and darkness for long, for some reason I love him so much, until my chest is tight. I'm used to dealing with all kinds of pain, but why does it feel like this time it can't be resolved easily. 

Give me your way, give me your guidance as usual and let me live my life again with tension. Forgive me for complaining a lot... 

I'm really tired of my story right now, I always ask God when will I be won in my story, in my life that only happens once, why the man I love so much can't choose me. Am I that unworthy to be loved? And they say humans will only love 3 times in their lives, maybe this man is the last man I will love greatly, The rest if I'm not with him, maybe I'll just survive and continue my life as a woman who no longer has the energy to love. But that's all my fear, I beg you this time please win my story with him, he's just hesitant, please convince his heart that I'm really the woman who will join the war with him in his life later. My prayers never stop for him, I hope we will meet in good condition one day when he is truly ready and I will wait until that time comes.