You know until now I'm not angry and don't hate your actions at that time, now I just live my life as usual, even though this time it was really a heavy loss for me, bcs I had to fight alone to forget you and I actually didn't want to do it. but I won’t be selfish, I try to forget what happened and accept the fact that everything is over. I was never angry with the decisions you made or I made, I was just disappointed why it seemed like I always deserved to feel pain, did I not deserve the love I wanted ? when I was ready with all the circumstances that would happen in the future and I wanted to live it with you, luck wasn’t on my side, after that day on the way home I was so happy because yes I would start a new story with the person I love. but circumstances said otherwise fate turned me back into the saddest person right now. I regret it again and again blaming myself for what happened. I don't hate him, on the contrary I hate myself and always question my worthiness. Honestly, I have no way out of this, I'm just trying to rise from the unworthiness that I have, and I will find a way to rise again as before, while hoping that on my journey to the future, I will found someone who will pull me out of the darkness again.
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In my loss right now, I'm not angry, nor disappointed, I just don't want to act selfishly like usual. bcs if I stay by your side and accept all these circumstances as usual, I will become someone who is evil and never wants to let you go, as if I am tying you in shackles, so in my loss right now I want to act using my common sense, think before actions and use my logic. so that everything goes well, so that everything is handled well. so that no heart is truly broken from this separation, I'm sure you have gone through it well, I also know you are fine, so what I do must be the same as you, yes I can also be fine like you.
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