🍁Last Autumn Little Butterfly 🦋

 

 

  The hardest part of losing a loved one isn't the separation, but rather the separation of learning to live without him. Learn to live a day without what has become his habit and what triggers heartache is when you see how he can continue life without you and you can't. But can you blame them? Honestly, you can't. Doesn't he feel the same way as you? He was happy. But honestly it really bothers me. You feel unfair, don't you? To be honest the only thing I want is sincere love and to be appreciated by him. When I search for love, to search for healing medicine to fill the void. but I came to my senses and discovered that it never really worked. Even though I could, I felt like this was more than just a forced connection because I just wanted to fill that void, I wanted that medicine and rushed to call the feeling 'love' just because of the beauty of the feeling that was being felt. However, the best kind of love, which I think is the purest is the love that ...

 

 

  It's very cold tonight, I'm at an altitude of 1130 meters above sea level, in the past, we used to often climb together enjoying our hobbies together, it's hard to find someone with this frequency, my hope is always to match another man with you, even though there's never been anyone the same as you. Someone say I failed to move on, but that's not the point, I just miss being with someone like that, the warmth, laughter, jokes and gaze, I really miss him, coming back here makes me remember every step with him, people say if you want to see someone who cares about you or no, invite him to climb together then you will feel how he feels about you, ya those words are very real, I was made drunk with love being close to him, as much as possible I showed my self strong even though I was tired because I didn't want to make him feel burdened to go with me, he cares a lot, he cares a lottttt, he seems to love me, he is so gentle and simple, my current journey makes me...

 

 

  Sometimes I feel restless because I think about the future, why am I still standing here while other people have gone far from their previous lives. I wondered if I had fallen too far behind. My obsession with success always loses because of my weakness in running this life, for some reason it seems like something is stuck and can't make me grow. Is this just my weak mind? In fact, I was far behind and just walking in the same place.  Ah, I don't know, have I been living my life wrong all this time?               ...   I found the good thing that sometimes ''your life is someone else's dream'' for me is a true fact. examples such as; Once upon a time I met my old friend and he said my life was very good and I was successful and he really dreamed of my life. Oh No... I don't think my life is like that, but on the other hand, I also feel that something is missing in my life, I want someone else's life to have a much smoother jo...

  You know what makes you unable to live your life without him, and you're always fixated on him, because you always choose to have a connection with him and always think about him in your time, you can't forget or let go of the fact that he has hurt you because you can't accept the reality that he hurt you so much, the person you love and believe has let you down, so you only fixate on the hurt, on the feeling of wanting to avenge his pain.   Even though it only tortures you to the end. Instead of hurting yourself because you are haunted by his shadow, you can reflect on positive things that can make you forget, by doing a hobby that you like. try to find something that keeps you busy so that your connection with it is lost, until you forget about it. even though you can't, just try slowly.   Hey! Look ahead, he is already living well, he has built new relationships with other girl, while you are still in the dark waiting for someone to penetrate your darkness and read...

  Don't regret your relationship with the person you loved in the past, even if it ended in pain or betrayal, you still initially accepted it because of love, right ? don't settle for a life journey that didn't go smoothly with him. If you not end up with him until the end, that's okay because you still have a chance to find new love. You still have the opportunity to be loved sincerely, to be loved deeply. Look forward, you deserve a love that makes you happy, a love that makes you accept who you are. deserve peace in the relationships you care about. I hope you and everyone who has hopes of finding happiness always gets what they hope for. Don't get too caught up in your expectations, focus on the love you have. be grateful for the love you have. and take good care of your love, take care of it so that it grows with the beauty you hope for.

Try not to rush through life, live it calmly and don't make any noise, be suddenly successful, suddenly have achievements, suddenly achieve your dreams one by one. just live well and stop complaining, do good instead of giving pressure on yourself and added suffering, you must know that what is destined for you will always be yours. Don't always be discouraged by your situation, which isn't as lucky as other people. Don't complain because your path to success is a little different and has many obstacles. Instead, use it as motivation that tomorrow will be your biggest breakthrough and that will be more than enough to achieve what you have wanted and prayed for all this time. So be grateful, I'm sure the most difficult days will pass and happiness will come to you. Just busy preparing yourself well with a different version of yourself. a much stronger version of yourself than before, be prepared to make your parents happy, remember you don't need validation from ...

If this is the best path for me in your opinion, I will follow the flow of fate wherever it takes me.  For too long I hid behind the words that I was enjoying my time alone, but now it's time for me to open up, I didn't realize that 4 years had passed and I really didn't realize it was eating away me.  And I just spend time with myself. ㅋㅋ But God, even though I'm still enjoying it doesn't mean I don't want to, I really convinced myself to immediately wake up from this long sleep, I realized that there was something that kept knocking on the door of my heart and I continued to ignore it.  but this time I will try it even though it is very difficult to start.  God, thank you for the time you have given me so far, after the bad incident that happened to me, now I am more wide-awake to my surroundings, Also to people who want to get to know me.  After that I love myself more and more, and being able to be closer to you is a very extraordinary thing...

  Some days I still cry and write about the severity of losing him And for most of those days my stomach felt sick because it seemed like he had moved on and I'm still standing there, trapped between shackles. And on days I feel I'm stuck reminding myself that I'm human and thinking and feeling sad is a very normal thing, right? He s now gone and you still have pieces of the gift from those you loved, even though its impossible to forget things like this Instead of ignoring it, I told myself to feel it the pain and dealing with it and often writing about him sometimes it helps because I feel like I'm not going so crazy. Ya, sometimes I feel like I'm a very ironic girl in the world, but hey dude, this world isn't only about you. So many people are hurting, so make it easier, and find new wounds. But being ironic is a normal thing, right? although sometimes on certain days I need a minute or ten to remind myself that I am human and as humans we feel it is okay to ...

Sorry if I complain too much, again and again I want everything to disappear and things return to normal. and fine. God, if you allow me to remove this pain, heal me from the pain that I can't control, what should I do, this pain is getting stuck in me. Every time this feeling always haunts me. its very hurt me.   Sometimes I try to understand my situations, but I still can't handle it. Ok, I understand God, Love isn't meant to hurt each other but expectations make it hurt. Love isn't meant to be given in minimum amounts. Love doesn't require me to look better but to be truly good, or not to be myself. I always feel unworthy of facing the love I want. How can I make Love choose me in both good and bad things? I think for get someone love That's not even something we should ask for, right? But is love something that must continue to be fought for? but alone or together?  God, after all of this I just ask to be removed source of pain and confusion in my heart. alt...

  So loved, so desired, and so tightly embraced, so fiercely held and protected. do everything to get my love. That was the happiest moment in my life, for 29 years I have experienced and felt various forms of love, from being loved so deeply to ending in the biggest betrayal.  I have experienced. and now 4 years have passed and I still choose to be alone because there is no reason for me to start a relationship. but after all this time they think I am still in sadness situations, which in fact isn't at all, and in my heart my soul is far from being down. now when I enjoy my solitude and as time goes by, to spend my youth which is no longer young anymore. That's where worry started to come in my family, and friends, especially my mother who worried about me because I was never with someone. I laugh a little every day because they always remind me how much I need to start opening the doors to my heart that have been closed for a long time. so what should I do? How else is this ...

  I think every human being, both men and women, always wants a happy ending. Can they fully their expectations? How do they fight the destiny they have determined? How do they overcome the disappointment of experiencing failure in building every connection they create? Will everything go according to our expectations? After going through the storms in life, will there always be a rainbow afterwards? ahhh it really makes me dizzy, I feel like I'm going to explode. all hopes and expectations always fill my mind and other people's minds. Sometimes that feeling of uncertainty comes when I am building connections with other humans who are trying to get close to me, but fear always accompanies me. I don't know what it's like to start that connection again, I want to, sometimes I really want it but don't know what to do, I'm too afraid of being disappointed again and again.

Do women ultimately haven't a choice to maintain their integrity as women? Do women actually know that in the end men can't live with just one woman? Or is this just a matter of luck in life and we women can only follow fate without being able to choose while men can?  I still don't understand the true meaning of connection. Many people around me end up betraying or being betrayed, especially since I have felt that way. Could that be the reason for me to experience a crisis of confidence in every man? I don't know, all of the above still makes me very confused, basically I still haven't found the answer to whether men really behave like that, is betrayal or not being able to be with one woman their true colors? What should I do, that's always on my mind.  So far no one has been able to break down my sense of crisis of self-confidence. Until now, the bad stigma about betrayal around me still haunts me. I don't know how long this will continue, but I will stil...

Someday as time goes by, the people you love most will leave you to starting the next chapter behind the clouds. They will be watching you from above, and you can rely on that to validate your never-ending happiness. until all the hardships will be in vain. Hey Ride the waves and let them take you to the sea without resistance, isn’t about killing yourself, its about to finding calm above the waves. Save ur energy and float on your back while the world's chaos increases until it no longer harms you. There will be a turning point where something extraordinary happens. Your goal will be found. The reason why you were put on this earth. The love you poured out to others and thought was lost will find you a thousand times over. The love that you think is meaningless will be very meaningful without destroying you again. The precious souls meant for you will return to you. You will see it in the colors of happiness, You will find love that returns your love unconditionally. And you will ...

Yes, it’s okay. People leave. Everyone is just fake, everyone leaves in the end, and everyone is alone in the end. However, the good ones usually go away too quickly and the bad ones usually stick around and take longer. The good ones give you something special. Something beautiful to look back on, while bad things take the whole world with them and you will hate him completely, because you have already poured all the juice of your love into him, He leaves you in complete misery. In complete chaos. But hey, that's okay. That doesn't mean the end for you. That doesn't mean you have nothing more to offer. there is nothing left to live for. Maybe it's true what they say, the more you give, the less you will get in return. But that doesn't mean you have to stop giving.  Stop sharing yourself with people you still love, it will be a waste. With people who are still here with you but their hearts aren’t. Just let go that doesn't mean it's over for you. That doesn...