The Curse Of Past

If you asked I'm okay, to be honest I haven't been okay in the last few years, my life has been unbalanced and my condition has never been stable. I don't even know what made me feel like I had gone too far. I was lost and remained in my comfort zone without making changes, I don't know what was on my mind so I never rose from my past. Sometimes I hate myself, and always blame him for my current situation. but in reality this is all my fault because I am too attached to the past. What should I do ? What should I do to get my life back to normal? Many people stopped by and wanted to help me get up but it was all in vain as if I was cursed by my past to never succeed in doing so. I really hate my current situation. I really need the energy to fight the curse, I'm still waiting for something that will burn me so I can be enthusiastic about living it and fight for it, I don't know when it will come, I'm still waiting until this moment, even though it's been several years since I spent my days with various kinds of pain. the pain that came and the hard blow, made me still the same. numb And still mess. Somehow as far as I live my life, for some reason there is always a light guiding me from behind, even though I don't know what it means, maybe it means that my worries will soon find a bright way, I hope this is the way to found happiness, the way to my awakening. I'm really looking forward it.