Final Decision 🥀

Finally, this is my time, the final decision is very difficult for me to take. Even though all this time I defended and continued to defend, my defense wasn’t utilized properly. After Several times I took the opportunity, and gave you a chance, but all you did was devalue the opportunity I gave. Because you feel that I will always forgive, you feel that I will always surrender to the situation, because you feel that my essence is only a woman.

When my dream was to be with you to spend the rest of my life, but you repeatedly betrayed your sacred promise. I asked myself what was wrong with me, at first I blamed myself, maybe I as a woman still had many shortcomings, but after your next mistake, your next and your another mistakes. I was sure there was nothing wrong with me. The problem is that you always feel lacking. My sadness has passed, without me realizing it, the stab after stab that you gave me no longer hurt me at all, strangely it actually made me stronger. You always make me insecure about myself, you always put me under you and never look at my opinion properly, even though in reality, when it comes to difficult things, the only one who can find a way out is only me. For most people, marriage is something that is meant to be done together and complement each other, right? but what I experienced was only me continuing to fill in the gaps to completed. until finally one of the foundations of my leg broke and I couldn't use it properly anymore. The point is that now I am no longer afraid of the mystery of the future, who always scares me. I am no longer afraid of failure. 

I've decided. Do you know when I have decided and lifted my foot from the door of your heart. I will never once look back. everything is finished, I already believe in myself, now I am not afraid of being alone, because I have Allah SWT and I still have a family that I love. Thank you God for Your guidance which makes me confident in what You show me and that is enough for me, and I have no doubts anymore.

***

You know this is not an easy thing and a short thing that I have to make this decision. This is a journey that I have thought about for a long time and have walked limpingly until at this point I am sure I will let you go. You have wasted our opportunity, our time, you have broken that sacred promise, you have closed my heart so tightly, you have lost my trust. for now you are still smiling and forgetting me for a while, but I will forget you forever.

It's about time... Goodbye.