Déjà vu

-


Feelin’ Déjà vu when I'm with him. 

Sometime it hurts me. But I try my best for always beside him. 

And After I dared to open my heart, why ? it’s still the same.   

Am I too scared or do I always get things like this ?

I thought this was a very trivial thing, but somehow, I still felt unwanted. Bcs the way he treats me.

I always thought why I stayed but he never felt proud to have me by his side.


Maybe he thought I was exaggerating but for me this is a very deep trauma.

Please understand me.


After months of not seeing each other

Finally we met, he came to my new place.

He always comes with a sweet smile and warm hug.

I am really enjoyed to being his side, he makes me feel comfortable, but I don't know what made me think he was such a manipulative person.

So I don't know what to do if I'm near him.

 

 I know I think this way makes him look like an asshole just because of my trauma.

 Rrrhhhhh God please guide me what should I do.

Be nice. I can be your summer and autumn at the same times. its depends. - you'll understand if you watching 500 days of summer-

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dive into his soul-

-
Image
Click this “ A beautiful encounter “ I think I little messy about this feeling, suddenly i curious about what he feel now or in the past~ I really want to dive into himself and his head, what's in his heart, what he feels and what sometimes makes him sad. Everyone has pain, right? May I know what's in his heart, and what makes him hurt?     I'm already seeing a lot of happy faces and when he smiles and laughs, he always shows his best expression, but I don't know what he's wrapping and covering behind his smile. I'm starting to get curious. Because not everyone always feels happy, right? There's a time when he experiences bad things in his life. And t his time I really want to dive into him. Not just see the face he shows to the world, but deeper - the layers that he neatly covers with a smile, even though the cracks scream loudly in silence. Yes, that man is very simplify, and I like him so I really want to know inside his soul and what's in his head? W...
Read more » The Stories

A Beautiful Encounter 🍁

-
Image
That brief encounter was like a spring breeze that came unexpectedly. I was in a beautiful dream city, hoping to find inspiration for my story life.  Then, suddenly he came like the sunset with smiled shyly. his smile was so sweet, his nose was my favorite part, his sleepy eyes were so sparkling, and his voice was so soft .  In two weeks we meet for 3 time, I think we met by chance and miracle. I don't know, I'm still trying to find out a glimpse of our meeting. on our short trip w e talked about many things like life, dreams, ideals, goals and hopes. Every word that came out of his mouth was like a melody that touched my mind. I felt emotionally connected to him, like two threads that were tightly intertwined. Time passed so quickly, like sand falling from an hourglass. This is the last day , we spent time together watching the sunset and accompanied by beautiful fireworks, this the first time I spent so long with a stranger I want. Time passed, we parted with a promise to s...
Read more » The Stories

illusory love~

-
Image
  When I love, I can’t do it half-heartedly. I can’t pretend to love just to satisfy a temporary need. I will loving with all my heart and soul, with every beat of my heart and every breath I take. Bcs my love is not a game nor an experiment. My love is a burning fire, a raging storm, a deep and vast ocean. I can’t help but love with all my heart, because that is my true nature. And  In life that is already complicated enough, I choose not to complicate it with unnecessary love games. I believe that when two hearts truly want to be together, they will find their own way without the need for complicated strategies or games or even manipulation strategies~  I just don't want to be a puzzle, to be solved or a prize to be pursued with great difficulty. I want a relationship built on honesty, trust, and mutual understanding. When I love, I want to do it sincerely and selflessly, without the need to play a role or hide my feelings. In a world full of falsehood, I feel like a sa...
Read more » The Stories

His sparkled eyes like the morning dew on a leaf✨

-
Image
Still about that man, the same man who barged into my fragile life. Tap  ⇣ 1. Beautiful Encounter 2. Dive into his soul At first I think maybe this era time for me to practice being more independence, maybe this time for me to feel bored and loneliness, maybe this time what I need to put a pieces back together. Perhaps this moment is a canvas waiting to be painted with the vibrant colors of solitude, a symphony of silence that whispers secrets of self-discovery. Maybe this time is for me to dance with the shadows, to learn the steps of independence, and to find the rhythm of my own heartbeat. As I wonder through the labyrinth of my mind, I realize that loneliness isn’t a curse, but a catalyst for growth. It's a chance to reconnect with the fragments of my soul, to mend the rips in the fabric of my being, and to weave a new tapestry of resilience. In this quiet, I find the pieces of myself scattered like puzzle fragments on the floor of my mind. I gather them gently, one by one, and...
Read more » The Stories